Chris and I had a whirlwind romance. It was no joke, like the plotline of a movie. One of his friends even suggested that we write a book about our story!! Chris was travelling around the world from England, and I was working in a small country town in Australia as a Teacher. He and his mate had ran out of money so they went their separate ways and began working as farmhands to get some extra cash. One night in my town there was a rodeo. Now, if you met Chris or I you would soon realise that we are both not your stereotypical rodeo attenders!! The likelihood of us both being there at that moment in time was so small… Anyway, we had a literal eyes lock across the room moment, he came up and spoke to me and as they say, ‘That was the end of the story!’ Except it wasn’t. We ended up chasing each other around the world, knowing that we were to be together forever… Which I guess brings me to why I am a Young Widow(ish) and not a Young Widow(er). Chris and I never married. We didn’t ever fully intend to either. Sure the idea was always at the back of our mind, but we were committed to each other. We loved each other. We travelled across the world for each other, and would do anything the other needed. We didn’t NEED a wedding, so made commitments in other ways, Chris giving up his life in England to come and join me here. The fact that he was a mad motocross fan and would spend thousands of dollars on motorbikes probably affected the choice as well.. “You can’t ride a wedding!” he’d always joke.

I guess that’s one of the reasons I’m writing this blog.. Even in the ‘Young Widow’ world, I don’t seem to fit. Young Widows range from 18 to 60 somethings, however the most vocal seem to be that middle aged group who have built their houses, had their children and their marriage for at least 20 years. When they’re talking about their children who are the same age as you, you tend to get a bit resentful and bitter that they were so lucky to have that time. I am not saying it is any less painful. It’s just so different. So damn hard to relate to! I live in a town where the median age is something ridiculous.. Like 7 years old or something. That’s because it’s a working town, where young men and their partners come to earn some serious cash and set up their families. Exactly what Chris and I were trying to do. Although marriage wasn’t really on the cards, children definitely were, with him even saying the week before he died, “I’m ready. I want one.” It was a topic we would discuss daily. We were saving up to buy a house, and if he was still here we would have done so by now. What I’m trying to say is, I’m surrounded by people who are having babies and getting married. 9 weddings so far just from my workplace alone this year. The babies have already started popping up from them. I guess I just feel so isolated. From my little bubble that I’m living in here, but also in the online bubble as well. I hope from doing this I will maybe find some people I can relate to.. Or even better perhaps someone will read this and be able to relate and get some relief themselves.